BookWire - Meet The Author

Neela Sakaria: First off, I'd like to thank you for your time. I enjoyed looking over your book. Can you tell our readers about your background? This is your first book, correct?

L.B. Smith: Yes - I'm strictly an accidental author more or less. The way this came about is that I was being a caretaker for my mother and step-father. A friend of mine who was in the publishing business at the time, kept telling me to write a book. He kept hearing about these stories from myself and my wife and he said, 'why don't you go ahead and write a book - you need to tell people about this.' I said that I didn't know how to write a book - it's not my forte. I had never even thought about writing a book. He said it was easy and he sort of gave me a 30-minute basic lesson in the mechanics. That's basically what I did.

It took me almost four years to write it. It wasn't something I could just sit down and ponder and write in 3 or 6 months like some writers do. Again, I had my own business to run. Based on that, I was doing it when time permitted or when I thought of something I wanted to put in the book. At the same time, I was experiencing everything first hand, which made it more difficult to write about. As I was writing it, I was living these problems and everything that went along with it, so that made it more difficult.

Neela: What do you think some of the challenges are in writing from personal experience?

LBS: It's difficult because you have to put yourself into the book. You sort of end up exposing yourself to people. You have to get into yourself, to dig all this stuff out. It turns out to be kind of difficult to do that.

When my mother passed away, I sort of lost interest in the book for about 6 months because I was still being a caregiver for another 2 years for my stepfather, Herman. When that happened it took me a while to get back into the mood to continue the project. But I did because I wanted to finish it.

NS: What are some key words of advice that you might have for people who are caring for their parents or relatives who are aging?

LBS: There are so many things you want to try to tell people. There is no one specific thing. You have to try and get support from your family. That is one of the most important things - getting that support system going - from wife, children, brothers and sisters if you have them. Get them involved in assisting you in looking after whomever it might be. To do it on your own is very difficult. I've talked to caregivers who are totally on their own, or who would bring a family member into their home. These people have given up careers just to care about somebody. In the cases where these people were by themselves, once the person they cared for passed away, they would go into depression for like 2 years because they lost a part of their life.

If you have to do this on your own, it's really difficult. When that happens you have to find support groups. I know they're out there. I know there are alzheimer's groups. I didn't go to any support groups because all I kept finding were more or less instruction manuals and instructive groups on how to take care of somebody, not to support the individual who was the caregiver. But that's basically why I wrote this thing, to sort of let people know what was out there and what they can expect.

You've got to handle it with humor, and you've got to have spirituaity, and you've got to try and get some kind of support from family members and friends, and be able to talk about it a little. That helps a lot. Everybody needs to vent a little bit now and then. That helped me a lot. I didn't have any brothers or sisters to assist in the caregiving, but I've got a wife and four children. They were very helpful.

Neela: In the book you talk about your mother's advice and the importance of being honest with yourself. Can you tell our readers how that applied to this situation?

LBS: Again, it's almost self-fulfilling. You have to admit there's something wrong with them and they're not able to care for themselves. You actually feel guilty when at first you put them in an independent living facility. It becomes a moral dilemma. It's a very difficult thing to go through and that's why I wrote this book. I've had friends of mine who have told me after they read the book, that they had no idea I was going through all of this.

LBS: So far it's been really really good. The reviews have been good. I was shocked because I didn't know if this book would be published, then the next thing I know, Publishers Weekly gives us a very good review. I've gotten written up in 2 or 3 newspapers, the latest being this past weekend, which was also a very good review. So that has sort of shocked me a little bit. I've never done anything like this and I didn't know what to expect. I've already had TV interviews. People are really getting into the book as they become aware of it. The major thing is making them aware of it.

The funny thing I noticed is that there are instances in the book where younger people, like in their 30s, read it and think it's funny - like comedy funny. Then there are people in their 50s who see the real story behind the laugh. That shows me there is a big difference in how people of different ages perceive the story.

I try to put humor into some of these situations - when they lose their keys, or get ripped off on a used car deal - if you're older you see that it's not funny, it actually happens. Whereas somebody in their 30s thinks it's funny, like a comedy show.

Neela: My last question is would you would consider any future writing projects?

LBS: I really haven't given it any thought. I was approached by a few people who are caregivers and they sort of asked me the same question. I really don't know what else to write about. I did this for a purpose, like I said, I'm not an author. I'm the president of a hotel management and consulting company. This was more a thing I felt necessary to share with people because it was a very traumatic experience for me for seven years. Writing about it helped me because I was able to accomplish something with it. I really don't think I have anything else to write about in that sense. I can't sit down and write a novel because it's not in me to do something like that. I guess this was probably a one time thing, a one and only book.

Neela: Well thank you very much.

LBS: Thank you.

SUSIE & HERMAN: A Story of Love and Caregiving
Publisher: Health Communications Inc.
ISBN: 1558749578