|
 Neela Sakaria: Please tell us about the title of your book, CHARRED SOULS. What does it signify?
Trena Cole: The title, Charred Souls, signifies the scars caused by verbal and emotional abuse. Physical child abuse is usually seen by evidence of bruises and broken bones, but verbal and emotional abuse are more hurtful to the very soul of a
child. The brutality to the inner self of a young innocent victim is like charring their soul.
Neela: Were there times when you questioned telling this personal story and making it public? How did you deal with that?
TC: There were times I hesitated about having it published. It is very common for victims of abuse, especially children, to never tell about what happened to them. I decided I had to tell in order to be able to grieve about it and move on with my life. I wanted to stop feeling like a victim and start feeling like a survivor. I also want other victims to know it is okay to tell. They don't have to carry it around inside them, like a haunt, for most or all of their lives. It is okay to tell, it is okay to grieve and it is okay to cry over it.
Neela: What is it that you hope people will realize from reading CHARRED SOULS, in terms of their interactions with children?
TC: I want them to realize that some abuse doesn't show up with physical signs. If nothing else, Charred Souls illustrates the type of hidden abuse that children suffer. I want them to know how much a wink and a smile means to a child who is being ridiculed, berated and emotionally abused day after day. When people see a child being ridiculed in public and they give that child a wink and a nod, it's like an angel smiling down on them, or least that's what it felt like to me when I was a little girl.
Neela: How has your family reacted to the book?
TC: They haven't, and I consider that a blessing.
Neela: At one point in the book, you compare your grandmother to Fagan from Dickens' OLIVER TWIST. Can you tell us about that comparison?
TC: My grandmother provided a refuge for me several times while I was growing up. I am grateful to her for that and I love her very much, but there was always a deal to be made with her, a price for her kindness. Regardless of what the consequences would be if any of us got caught, she expected us to beg, borrow or steal for her. Fagan gave the kids a place to sleep and eat in exchange for them picking pockets and turning the goods over to him, my grandmother gave me a place to sleep and eat in exchange for writing bad checks and working overtime to give her money for drinking and gambling.
Neela: You talk about the lesson you learned as a child - not letting your mother know what it was you wanted or needed, because then you would certainly not get it. That seems like a terrible lesson for a child to learn. Can you elaborate?
TC: If we let her know there was something we really wanted she used it as a weapon. She would get angry and say that we would never get it because we were so mean, stupid and worthless. I remember once when I asked for something I really wanted, she got it for two of my sisters, who hadn't asked for it, but I never got it. The same principle applied if we were hurt. Our motto was to never say we had, for example, a sore finger because one of our parents would grab our hand and squeeze it as they asked us if it hurt.
Neela: Do you have children of your own now? If so, how have your own personal experiences as a child influenced you as a mother?
TC: I do have one son and he is a wonderful young man. I thank God every day that I was able to somehow break the cycle and love and nurture him. If there is a silver lining to the cloud of my childhood, it is that I know almost everything you shouldn't say or do to a child. Keeping that in the forefront of my mind while I raised my son helped me develop good parenting skills. I think it is as important for people to know what they shouldn't do or say to children as it is for them to know what they should do with and for children. I take pride in being able to develop mothering skills. After having my own child it was even more difficult for me to accept the way my siblings and I were treated. I looked at my own baby and wondered how they could have done and said those horrible things to us.
Neela: Are you working on any other writing projects?
TC: Yes, thanks for asking. I am working on my second book which is more about the long term effects of child abuse. Charred Souls, A Story of Recreational Abuse is more about the actual abuse, my new book details how abuse is a lingering, emotionally crippling haunt and how difficult it is to overcome being a charred soul and believe you have worth and value.
Neela: Is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers?
TC: The language in Charred Souls is ugly and raw. It reflects the very words used against my sibling and me from infancy to the time we were able to escape the madness. Those words were as much a weapon as belts and switches were. I want people to think about hearing those words screamed at an infant, or a child of four or six. I don't want anyone to think I left the language in the book because I am in any way being disrespectful, that is not the case. I felt like if I didn't use the quotes I would be sanitizing the verbal abuse we suffered as children. Some people have criticized me for that, but I felt like the abuse we suffered should not be minimized by sanitizing it.
Neela: Thank you very much for your time.
CHARRED SOULS: A Story of Recreational Child Abuse
ISBN: 097235350X
|
