Stupefied - Integrity's Conundrum

I recalled Todd's reaction: "You're getting married? I thought you broke up?" It was mind-blowing breaking news to me three months before our Las Vegas ceremony, but John promised he had long since overcome his reservations. Perhaps, I was guilty for accepting his assurance as readily as I did, but I believed my true love was being as honest with himself as he was to me; it seemed now neither were true. "I don't ever wanna jeopardize my family, but at the same time, now that I've...
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I recalled Todd's reaction: "You're getting married? I thought you broke up?" It was mind-blowing breaking news to me three months before our Las Vegas ceremony, but John promised he had long since overcome his reservations. Perhaps, I was guilty for accepting his assurance as readily as I did, but I believed my true love was being as honest with himself as he was to me; it seemed now neither were true. "I don't ever wanna jeopardize my family, but at the same time, now that I've gotten a taste of happiness, I want more. Maria, you make me feel alive." Garret's fervor lifted me above the clouds. "You've revived a part of me that died so long ago I couldn't have described it til now." My brain and heart clashed in thunderous opposition. Garret offered a lifetime of riches that I could only accept if I disregarded everything I believed to be honorable. A raindrop hit my cheek, as I sat up to consider my revelation: in the Dawson house of emotional confinement and eternal responsibility, I had deprived my soul of its lifeblood--PASSION--the essence of which Garret had innocently restored then purposely magnified. To give him up was to condemn myself to spiritual suicide--a consequence more challenging than hiding our relationship. Or, so I thought. More than 20-years my senior, Joe was the epitome of success--my mentor, business partner, and friend. Risking it all, I trusted him--and only him--with my shameful secret in hope for the support I needed to find a way off my self-destructive path. A secret scandal was born, when his unscrupulous infatuation emerged from the shadows to terrorize the very life I attempted to save. Concealment of my internal torture and unjustified condemnation gradually devoured my sanity. Just when I felt all hope was lost, I stumbled upon a new world that rejuvenated my soul and transformed my spirit with the speed and intensity of a defibrillator. I could never have imagined how Arizona would bring me back to life.