The Legend of Lunar Pines (by Officer Ray Bathurst)

Animal Control Training-Lunar Pines, Idaho. Dead of night, just left of the middle of nowhere..."I'm going to go over the rules with you, understand? What you're about to go through is absolutely necessary. I need you on the same page as me with this, kid. This is deadly serious business. You are not to make a single sound; not a sneeze, not a cough, not a hiccup. You are not to move. I don't care if a fire ant starts chewing on your big toe, you remain motionless, got it? You are not...
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Animal Control Training-Lunar Pines, Idaho. Dead of night, just left of the middle of nowhere..."I'm going to go over the rules with you, understand? What you're about to go through is absolutely necessary. I need you on the same page as me with this, kid. This is deadly serious business. You are not to make a single sound; not a sneeze, not a cough, not a hiccup. You are not to move. I don't care if a fire ant starts chewing on your big toe, you remain motionless, got it? You are not to burp, pass gas, piss your pants, or expel any type of odor that isn't outside of your control. The rules are that simple. If you're going to be a cop in Lunar Pines then you gotta go through this. We all have. After tonight you'll understand what it means to work in these mountains. ...I'm going to tell you one more thing, Dwight. What's out there? What you're going to see tonight? It is going to scare you. Believe me, kid, it's a lot better knowing that ahead of time."