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 Neela Sakaria: Please tell our readers a bit about your background, and the background of this book. What inspired you to write THESE TEARS ARE REAL?
Viv Weers: We had phenomenal success with United Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. We had a mailing list of 1400 grandparents who were receiving our newsletters every month. We had conferences two years in a row, plus several mini conferences. We had 15 or 16 support groups that were under our umbrella. Our support groups were put under Aging and Adult Services of the State of Washington when we dissolved, UGRG in 1998. There are now 35 support groups helping families and Grandparents, in this State, Thanks to Hilary Hauptman who took over the UGRG support groups.
John and I were asked to many workshop meetings on changing laws to help children and for the Grandparents and relatives. One of these workshops was a symposium to change children’s protective services (CPS) in our state. John and I really asked for a lot, but most of the suggestions we made are now laws in our state. This symposium really did a great deal to help grandparents be able to raise their grandchildren with out spending their life savings in civil courts. The original support group also wrote up laws to protect children.
Neela: Who was your intended audience for the book?
VW: Grandparents or relatives who needs to raise relatives who are abused children.
Neela: How common is it in this country for grandparents to be raising grandchildren?
VW: It was an estimated that in 2001, that there were 5and ½ million children living with grandparents compared to 3,400, 000 only three years prior.
Neela: What are some of the greatest challenges when it comes to raising grandchildren?
VW: Sometimes the parents of the children really don’t want the children, but they treat grandparents who have custody of the minor children just terribly. A great deal of grandparents even have "no-contact" orders against their own children, in order to protect their grandchildren from the parents.
Neela: What is United Grandparents Raising Grandchildren?
VW: UGRG was a nonprofit organization in the state of Washington that John and I founded in 1994. John and I eventually dissolved UGRG due to our health.
Neela: How long did it take you to write the book? What do your grandchildren think?
VW: This book took me a couple of years to write due to the fact that I had so much going on otherwise. The grandchildren are very glad that they have a real home and family. They do not even want to hear their parents' names. They asked us to adopt them.
Neela: What are some key words of advice that you would give to grandparents who are faced with raising their grandchildren?
VW: There are no key words that will help grandparents or other relatives. Every case is different and must be looked at that way. I still take phone calls from all over this nation. I find that a lot of grandparents have tried to find help in their states, but their support group leaders have given up. In some cases it is because many leaders were not hearing from anyone, no one showed up at the meetings and they felt the people wanted to take care of their own problems. In other cases it was because the support leaders found it to be too much, as their own grandchildren were grown and they were busy with ball games, dance recitals, college graduations and wedding plans.
Neela: Is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers?
VW: This book is not lacking in humor. It is an important book crammed with information. By the time you finish it you will feel that you know the main character personally. I wrote the book because I knew I could not cope with the load but I wanted something that would help grandparents to know they were not alone.
These Tears Are Real
ISBN: 0970296509
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