Autism Social Context Parent Guide

Someone with autism needs to be taught that while there's a general idea of what behaviour is expected in society because of different contexts, the rules fluctuate some from situation to situation. As parents and therapists we cannot just teach children a general rule and expect them to be able to get through life with no speed bumps. When teaching a kid how to approach a group of people we can't just teach him by role playing in the office setting. We also can't just go to the...
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Someone with autism needs to be taught that while there's a general idea of what behaviour is expected in society because of different contexts, the rules fluctuate some from situation to situation. As parents and therapists we cannot just teach children a general rule and expect them to be able to get through life with no speed bumps. When teaching a kid how to approach a group of people we can't just teach him by role playing in the office setting. We also can't just go to the library and teach him either. We need to be sure that we're teaching him how to approach and introduce himself to people at school, work, the library, a museum, the supermarket and more. You can see why this is such a daunting task. It's hard work and won't be easy for you, your child, or your child's therapist but it's work that must be done. It's something I wish I would have learned as a kid growing up rather than trying to teach myself as an adult. It's a challenge but if you want your kid to be safe and happy it's important to do this.Contrary to what someone may say, social skills are not a simple thing to learn or teach. Social skills are complex. It will take a lot more than saying this is how you do this. I've found getting advice from other neurotypicals my age is a bad idea because they simply just don't know how they use the skill they're using. Most social skills are not taught. A teacher never sat in the classroom having a lesson on approaching a group of people and engaging them in conversation. She was trying to keep the class quiet so she could teach other things. In the area of social skills, my brain works like an on/off switch. I either get it or I don't. This also means I either really like someone a lot or I'm not interested in them. This is troublesome because people tend to have different categories of friends. Some categories might beAcquaintanceCasual friendCo-workerGood friendBest friendSignificant otherI typically go straight from acquaintance to best friend or significant other. I was never taught the in-between steps of the friendship building process. This causes me to come on too strongly and overwhelm the person on the receiving end of my attention. This type of behaviour is inappropriate in our society and therefore others were associating me with the inappropriate behaviour. I had to change this so I began to get to work on social skills.Here's an example of the process of using a urinal in the men's restroom. Most of us would just walk right in take care of business and be done with it. However, for those of us with autism who didn't naturally pick up on how to use the urinal properly we must go through a detailed step by step process.1.Walk in the restroom.2.Do not look at anyone.3.Stand in line if there is one.4.Behave appropriately in line.5.Choose the proper urinal when available.6.Keep eyes straight forward.7.Avoid being next to someone if possible.8.Definitely avoid being next to two people.9.Unzip your pants.10.Aim properly. 11.zip your pants.12.Flush the urinal.13.Go to the sink.14.Turn the water on.15.Put soap on your hands.16.Wash your hands.17.Rinse your hands.18.Turn water off.19.Dry hands with paper towel or blow dryer.20.Exit the restroom.Not many of us would realize that there would be 20 steps involved in just using the men's room urinal. Look at how complex learning this skill is. If you just tell your kid to go in and use the restroom who knows what may happen in there. If his behaviour is not socially appropriate it could lead to making others feel uncomfortable. This will cause your child to be ridiculed and made fun of. This is something that can and should be prevented with proper education. This book will give you and your child that proper education so they are prepared for life.