Heaven-Bent HUMOR: The DEAN Adventures
NEWLY UPDATED!
With a new entry too: "Does That Make Me a Hero? Or a Villain?"
Wouldn't you rather have your humor be Heaven-Bent than bent the other way?
Whether Dean backpacks with Bigfoot in Bermuda, time-travels with movie stars, or inadvertently destroys worlds beyond ours, this guy knows how to have fun! Enjoy his crazy, quite possibly insane, adventures!
What will Dean do with the billions he makes by his books? Find out inside! And encourage billions of others to do so too. Especially if they buy them all and pay full price!
Inventive, funny, suspenseful, each story provides a mini-vacation away from the burdens of your day. So get your ticket to fun now; and start reading. Destination: Comedy! Guaranteed to make you laugh.*
Before you buy this book, take a Look Inside!
Check out the Table of Contents! Depending on how you define adventure, the actual "adventures" don't start until "The Perfect Plan: Foiled!" or "My O.B.E.". We included a few "non-adventurous" pieces to lay the groundwork for the adventures, or because they related somehow, or we just thought they were funny. Or simply to pad the book to make it look more impressive!
Although most of these crazy, intrepid, and entertaining tales stand alone, they still tie together to build to a shock ending.
Snippets
Proof that this is a work of fiction: I did not put peanut butter on the brownies. If you see me eating a brownie without first applying peanut butter, that is not me, but an evil clone, an alien cyborg, or a shape-shifter who must be destroyed! Or given a jar of peanut butter.
Don't forget to wrap your head in aluminum foil too, so those intergalactic fiends can't read your mind. Otherwise, no one else in the field of extra-terrestrial relations will take you seriously.
The pinwheel hat is optional.
My secret sources on this matter are uncharacteristically convoluted and unclear about the exact details. But why would somebody post something on the Internet, if it's not true?
The "handsomest" of them resembled Bigfoot. Only with ZZ Top beards and a Snidely Whiplash mustache. Strange race indeed.
And that was just their women!
I don't want to be remembered for that! Instead, remember me for my sense of humor, thoughtfulness, and great legs. Best of all would be being remembered for being Katharine McPhee's trophy husband!
They had the dumbest entertainment too! Some dude in a designer pinstriped suit waved a pocket watch back and forth while chanting repeatedly: "You will do as I say. You will do as I say."
Never thought I'd wind up in jail.
An asylum? Sure. It's a such crazy world, you'd be nuts not to go insane.
Don't fall in love with a psycho; she'll only break your heart. Or cut it out and feed it to the pigeons.
I'm too exciting for most women. The majority of them want someone boring. It's true. Their date ads say they don't want men who play games.
But I say, what's wrong with Pictionary?
It's like charades on paper!
Good times to be sure. But if Andy Warhol's words are true, about each person getting his/her own 15 minutes of fame, I've still got another 14 minutes and 57 seconds coming!
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Keywords: Comedy, Fiction, Action, Adventure, Science Fiction, Suspense, Fantasy, Humor, Humour, Satire, Parody, Spoof, Thrills, Jokes, Elvis, Jacko, Bigfoot, Abominable Snowman, Loch Ness, Nessie, Funny, Fun, Supermodels, Chocolate, Shock Ending.
* Each entry's like a mini-vacation to Funny Town. You never know with whom Dean will hang out. Elvis, Jacko, Bigfoot, Nessie, and more! So scroll up; and Click the Buy Button Now!