SHAKESPEARE - a Pair of Parodies

In the opinion of some scholars, Hamlet was really created by William Shakespeare as an autobiographical character, a person who could never make up his mind, liked to make pompous speeches to no one in particular, and was fond of sticking his sword through curtains in case anyone was trying to steal one of his plays that he never wrote anyway.HIP HAMLETThere are also those who hold that Queen Gertrude was really Queen Elizabeth, which would have made her Shakespeare's mother, which...
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In the opinion of some scholars, Hamlet was really created by William Shakespeare as an autobiographical character, a person who could never make up his mind, liked to make pompous speeches to no one in particular, and was fond of sticking his sword through curtains in case anyone was trying to steal one of his plays that he never wrote anyway.HIP HAMLETThere are also those who hold that Queen Gertrude was really Queen Elizabeth, which would have made her Shakespeare's mother, which would certainly revise the theory of the Virgin Queen. This is a stretch for most Englishmen, who are unwilling to go there.Enough of theory, the play is the thing, Bill says, and in Hamlet we have a story of a hip lad not understood by his generation, and who has worried successive generations since. Today's youth would certainly dig him, for he was hip, he was with it. He smoked high grade pot, wore the latest in mod fashion, and protested with vigor and class. It is not known if he had any tattoos.A note of warning.. This author has taken a little liberty here and there, but only with the timing and the text. You may want to check the original to see how and who I have offended in the name of humor. As a useful comparison, you might want to watch a good video, say the one with Olivier as Hamlet.ROMEO & JULIET The Coolest Of LoversThis attempt to color a well-known play by William Shakespeare with crude humor still does not mask the terrible beauty of a tale well told of tragedy and wasted love and life, sponsored by that unfortunate and all too common attribute of humanity, tribal strife. The excellent, beautiful 1968 Zeffirrelli film was used as a guide; for instance, the Act 1 Prologue, the angry, closing speech by the Prince, and the final Narrator's sad comments, which in the original play which were also by the Prince.I have tried to stay close to the original play's content. Some words are so beautiful and simple, so precisely pure, such as Juliet's pledge to Romeo in the balcony scene. "... If that thy bent of love be honorable, thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow, by one that I'll procure to come to thee, where and what time thou wilt perform the rite; and all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay and follow thee my lord throughout the world...."It was my hope that those elegant words would stand out as untouched contrast to my feeble attempts at humorous rendition.Whatever you read here and feel about it, I encourage you to read the play as written, and also watch the Zeffirelli film. Except for the same story told in another form, West Side Story, it is the finest portrayal I know of the two lovers as Shakespeare intended; young, beautiful teenagers, caught in a familial web of anger and hate.If you want to consider the play as a metaphor for tribal warfare in all its forms, you will agree, at least on that point, with my view. Whether it's politics in the world, the nation, your state, or your local government, it is laid before you every day on and in media of all types. You are also aware of family tragedies that are mirrors, at least in process, of what happened when the Capulets and the Montagues allow their angers to govern their lives. It is to weep for us.