I was still a mother, but not under any circumstance I recognized. I was no longer a wife. Instead of being someone who fit into my community, I became a woman who stuck out. I felt I was standing naked, exposed to some harsh environment, and I hadn't even noticed the layers of my clothing (or roles) being stripped away.
I was still a mother, but not under any circumstance I recognized. I was no longer a wife. Instead of being someone who fit into my community, I became a woman who stuck out. I felt I was standing naked, exposed to some harsh environment, and I hadn't even noticed the layers of my clothing (or roles) being stripped away.
Sheila Ellison from The Courage to Be a Single Mother
In this refreshingly real and honest book, Sheila Ellison conveys the story of her divorce, and those of dozens of other single mothers, to comfort and empower divorced moms. The raw emotional responses to divorce are shared by everyone who goes through this traumatic experience: grief, guilt, desperation, humiliation, rage, and loneliness. "Divorce strips away the facade of a happy family," Ellison says, "and lets the world in on a painful personal secret.... Yet there is amazing freedom in revealing and finally living the truth, in having everyone see the imperfection, in surviving this huge life change and still coming out with yourself."
Ellison says, it is from the inevitable despair, doubt, and fear surrounding divorce that women gain clarity and perspective to summon the courage to move from the darkest place in their lives toward the light. It also takes tremendous vision--"an ability to imagine the light even when you can't see it." Ellison encourages divorced women to be open to new possibilities as they discover how they really want to live their lives.
Ellison also discusses the complexities of divorce, from the practical to the emotional and spiritual: telling one's children, family, and friends; finding an attorney; dealing with visitation and restraining orders; coming up with a new and livable definition of "family"; nurturing angry, sad, and confused kids; enlisting support from friends and loved ones; quieting one's inner questioning and guilt; finding faith; and more.
Wearing a new ring that symbolizes her ultimately liberating journey/--/her wedding ring melted down and redesigned, "just like my life"/--/Ellison is living proof that single moms can move beyond pain and mere survival to heal their souls, free their spirits, and build happier lives for themselves and their children.