The Plaid Memorandum

Long-time residents of T-Ville, Mrs. Plaid and Old Mr. P, are dismayed to see that their obituaries are published prematurely (and with little regard for facts) in the local newspaper. They decide to "lay low," though, in case someone is trying to do them in. Before heading out of town, Mrs. Plaid handwrites a memo to her office staff, which accidentally gets transmitted all over the world. Due to her atrocious handwriting, everyone interprets the memo differently, causing problems. ...
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Long-time residents of T-Ville, Mrs. Plaid and Old Mr. P, are dismayed to see that their obituaries are published prematurely (and with little regard for facts) in the local newspaper. They decide to "lay low," though, in case someone is trying to do them in. Before heading out of town, Mrs. Plaid handwrites a memo to her office staff, which accidentally gets transmitted all over the world. Due to her atrocious handwriting, everyone interprets the memo differently, causing problems. Meanwhile, a devious person (or group) makes replicas of the famous Large Hadron Collider and conducts their own "Big Bang" experiments in the U.S., but without safety precautions, causing random black holes to appear and disappear, along with the hapless people who get sucked into them. One such hapless person is the only person, other than Mrs. Plaid, who can read Mrs. Plaid's handwriting and might be able to clear some things up. Old Mr. P and Mrs. Plaid are tried together for each other's murder in a combined trial that has everyone confused. A hilarious short story from the author of OUT OF ORDER MURDER MYSTERY.