A Beast Cannot Feign Sci-Fi Your Mother Won't Show You |
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| Author:
| Jerk, Insensitive |
| ISBN: | 979-8-3616-8699-5 |
| Publication Date: | Nov 2022 |
| Publisher: | Independently Published
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| Book Format: | Paperback |
| List Price: | USD $75.00 |
Book Description:
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A proper Libertarian novel should celebrate human freedom without resorting to crude jokes. Dr. Insensitive Jerk honors that principle like frat boys honor liquor laws.
2023 Prometheus Award finalist
In the best prank of the year, the Libertarian Future Society has named
A Beast Cannot Feign as one of the five finalists for the most prestigious literary prize in Libertarian Sci Fi. This is exactly the sort of dangerous joke that might be prevented...
More DescriptionA proper Libertarian novel should celebrate human freedom without resorting to crude jokes. Dr. Insensitive Jerk honors that principle like frat boys honor liquor laws.
2023 Prometheus Award finalist
In the best prank of the year, the Libertarian Future Society has named
A Beast Cannot Feign as one of the five finalists for the most prestigious literary prize in Libertarian Sci Fi. This is exactly the sort of dangerous joke that might be prevented by stronger liquor laws.
The most aggravating alien invasion ever
Half-aliens prowl the Earth, defying our laws, banging our women and laughing at our taxes. I mean really laughing. They think our taxes are hilarious, and how is a man supposed to perform with half-alien women giggling at his pay stub?
Of all the half-aliens, Luci Dark is widely regarded as the most annoying, so they chose her as their ambassador. Now she's shopping for a little patch of Earth to call, home, say, 10,000 square miles. Every right-thinking Human welcomes that idea like a fart at a wedding.
A half-alien colony would really need defending, so they've hired the very human Tom Pine to build robotic sentries, beneath Luci Dark's watchful eye. What could possibly go wrong?
About the Author
Dr. Insensitive Jerk was created in a tragic artificial-insemination accident, when his petri dish was contaminated by DNA from a lab tech's Doberman pinscher. His childhood was stressful, especially for the family cat. If you buy this book, you will help him celebrate six years clean without a single drink from the toilet.
Feelustration
This book is feelustrated, which means it's packed with beautiful, full-color pictures that don't depict events in the text. It's the stupidest breakthrough in the history of storytelling. Seriously; you can't believe how dumb it is.
What critics are saying about A Beast Cannot Feign
"Sneaking Beast into the summer reading list would be hilarious, and I'd get fired the next day."
- Anonymous teacher
"I only read three pages and I already know it's disgusting."
- Some guy at Starbucks
"A Beast Cannot Feign is wonderful, but does it need the sex parts?"
- Dr. Jerk's mom
"How many different ways do I have to tell you I'm not interested in your book?"
- The ex