Bullshit to Butterflies

A memoir written by the love of his life, Sheila, wife of 32 years, this book was born on the advice of their adult children, a hospice social worker, and good friends.

Over the years, Shane learned to grapple with patience, generate a positive attitude, and rally support for the underdogs of...
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A memoir written by the love of his life, Sheila, wife of 32 years, this book was born on the advice of their adult children, a hospice social worker, and good friends.

Over the years, Shane learned to grapple with patience, generate a positive attitude, and rally support for the underdogs of the world--even during the most difficult times of his life. He found humor in everything and always aimed to enjoy life, and greatly encouraged others to do the same. He was a man who beat the odds all his life until cancer came calling. In his youth, he picked himself up and became the example he was missing of what a good person should be and showed the world what that looked like. And approaching his death, he gifted us a glimpse behind the veil. His experiences were a comfort to him and his family until his last breath.

His story teaches us how to live--as well as how to die--with courage, dignity, and grace.

BULLSH*T TO BUTTERFLIES will make you think. About your own death and enduring the death of those you love greatly. Shane's story is a good reminder to cherish every moment we have in this world--and those whom we love in it. Through all the turmoil this man endured in his life, he kept going until he simply couldn't go anymore. What those who loved him realized is that he was always teaching. Always learning. Always curious. Always grateful. When forced to face his own mortality, none of that changed. This is the very real story of a very ordinary man. He could just as well be you or I. This is a book for people who want to understand the plight of cancer, the challenges of facing death, and how to comfort the dying. You will take away much more than the story of this man. You will glean information on how to have a good death for yourself or for someone you love.

REVIEW

Burke's forthright memoir of her husband Shane's cancer treatment is infused with compassion and generosity and succeeds in honoring a man who embodied these virtues. Much of the book is drawn from Sheila's contemporaneous journal entries, which chronicle the eleven months between Shane's diagnosis of Stage IV small cell lung cancer (SCLC) in October of 2019 to his death at home, surrounded by family. It's a clear-eyed look at the physical and emotional toll on Shane and Sheila, married for 31 years, as well as the impact on their three grown children and the long-term friendships he had lovingly cultivated.

The diary's real-time format proves key to the memoir's emotional impact. These entries (detailing chemotherapy, radiation, and hospice) capture wrenching shocks and joyous respites, the confusion caused by the information dispensed by different doctors, and the immense guilt Sheila experiences with every decision that suggests a terminal outcome, like starting palliative care.

The immediacy and frank messiness of this memoir mirrors the chaos of loss, which knocks the living onto unfamiliar terrain.

Takeaway: This intimate and practical memoir will aid readers facing a cancer diagnosis or end-of-life decision-making.

Great for fans of: Deborah Ziegler's Wild and Precious Life, Meghan O'Rourke's The Long Goodbye.
-Booklife, by Publishers Weekly

A dying man teaches us about the magnificence of life and death. Insightful, informative. Full of hope and heartbreak. I highly recommend this book to anyone who expects to die someday and to those that love them.
--Karen Salmansohn, Bestselling Author

Compelling, heart-wrenching, informative. A testament to hope and love. Should be required reading for every oncologist, cancer care provider, and any class on death and dying.--
R. Renner, Minister