Death of a Past

Having buried the step father he had come to respect and love more than his own father, the author had to come to terms not only with his mother's horrific slide into dementia, but the realisation as events unfolded around him, that his poverty stricken, dysfunctional childhood had somehow robbed him of the chance to feel any empathy towards the suffering of these people he loved. With this realisation he turns to his past to try and discover who he really is. Is the man he has moulded...
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Having buried the step father he had come to respect and love more than his own father, the author had to come to terms not only with his mother's horrific slide into dementia, but the realisation as events unfolded around him, that his poverty stricken, dysfunctional childhood had somehow robbed him of the chance to feel any empathy towards the suffering of these people he loved. With this realisation he turns to his past to try and discover who he really is. Is the man he has moulded for over 40 years real, or is it just a mask, and behind it still lurks that poorly educated, emotionally crippled, feral 15 year old boy.The book takes you from his first memories as a child living in a small desolate caravan in the north of England through to a brief life of wealth in a notorious nightclub, on to the slums of 60's Birmingham, and finally at 16, to the first painful turning point in his life and the beginning of the realisation that if he wanted a future, he first had to destroy the past. The author is at times dismissive of the maelstrom of chaos and abuse surrounding his childhood years and yet the tragedy of this family's life, is painfully apparent.