Existential Dialogues II

Do you also have existential conversations with your older self? Throughout life, a person may encounter many questions without having the time to watch and contemplate, to wonder what everything means to them personally.What did I ask for, other than gentle moments of existence, in which I could devote myself to the silence within me, and debate my spirit over real decisions on real issues?For what is the common alternative?To nullify my existence in blind devotion...
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Do you also have existential conversations with your older self?

Throughout life, a person may encounter many questions without having the time to watch and contemplate, to wonder what everything means to them personally.What did I ask for, other than gentle moments of existence, in which I could devote myself to the silence within me, and debate my spirit over real decisions on real issues?For what is the common alternative?To nullify my existence in blind devotion to the choices of the many, who would dictate my way of life, though I had never asked for their advice? Such a choice would be an insult.I then figured that there must be another way to live, before that predetermined script which some are so quick to carve into the spirits of young people.Harsh words of this kind have burst out of me, a defensive storm protecting me from the possible insult of being a leaf, blowing in the wind without any hold or internal decision.That is why I decided to hold an internal discourse with my spirit, over all those great questions which have always haunted my mind, without letting external voices be a determining factor.Moreover, I sought to have a discussion with the old man I will become - to find an appropriate partner for these intimate conversations, so rare in the freezing reality. Such quiet conversations, where thoughts come up uncensored, are at times a worthy reason to still live. To still be human.