Fifteen (15) Steps to Rehabilitation

On October 25th 2001 I was arrested in the state of Louisiana charged with Possession With Intent To Distribute Cocaine. To be honest with you that was one of the most intense days of my life. No one to call or to let know where I was. I felt so disillusioned about everything ' this is all a dream this, is not happening, not to me.Wake up Lisa, when I didn't wake up I started to think of a way to get out of this I tried to lie but that did not work I plagued scared that did not work I...
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On October 25th 2001 I was arrested in the state of Louisiana charged with Possession With Intent To Distribute Cocaine. To be honest with you that was one of the most intense days of my life. No one to call or to let know where I was. I felt so disillusioned about everything ' this is all a dream this, is not happening, not to me.Wake up Lisa, when I didn't wake up I started to think of a way to get out of this I tried to lie but that did not work I plagued scared that did not work I was booked into jail.Crying became part of my daily routine but I could not help it my mind was in a bad place because I was lying to myself and most of all I cast blame. Yes I was set up but I put myselfin line for people to set me up.Three months of tears one day I woke up about 3:00 am saying to myself ' the only wayto gain back my freedom and some kind of peace of mind while I am in here is to change my mind set. So I did, I did my time instead of letting my time do me.It was hard because in my mind I was hard core showing no feeling just about one thing.I had to remind myself for where I was.Day by day I struggled with my temper, my emotions, my fears and my guilt because I did so many wrong things made the wrong choices.I went to school and gained my GED I participate in the Drug Rehabilitation ProgramI was involved in Toasters. I also became a Trustee where I worked in the sewing roommending and Ironing Prison Staff clothing.Slowly but surely when I looked in the mirror at myself I didn't see all the ugly sin had left on me. I remember when I really took a look at myself for the first time I didn't recognize myself all I saw was self pity.I had my 'thorns' too but I did not want to go on lock down. The one time I really lost it and almost got into a fight - someone was there to hold me back and let me know that this kind of behavior was not right and had gone against what I was trying to do in my life. I considered myself fortunate because my willingness to change was seen by another. See I have been there to.I spent twenty three months incarcerated into five different institutions mostly because I was also in the custody of immigration.I met all types of people from all walks of life with one thing in common " Incarceration." We all got along most of the time and being a Caribbean foreigner I made a lot of friends.Friends who are at present angry with me because I did not keep in touch. That is for another story. The time I had with some of them are unforgettable.I learned so much from being around them and made some discoveries about myself in the process. I learned that I had real words in my heart was able to put them down on paperand that people would react the way they did to them to what I had to say.I learned that through sharing my poems with others helped them to understand me the individual not go on hearsay and not what you think you see in me!