Getting GOVAN Out of the GIRLS

Cousins Avril and Bridget are forty years old and have contrived to escape any responsibility. Born within days of each other, they have been inseparable since they met on their first day at primary school. Between them they have five children all being raised by the fathers. They might have continued into old age dodging commitments if they hadn't been forced to steal the corpse of Avril's Dad to read the treasure map tattooed on his bum.Sadly, the treasure was gone and the girls were...
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Cousins Avril and Bridget are forty years old and have contrived to escape any responsibility. Born within days of each other, they have been inseparable since they met on their first day at primary school. Between them they have five children all being raised by the fathers. They might have continued into old age dodging commitments if they hadn't been forced to steal the corpse of Avril's Dad to read the treasure map tattooed on his bum.Sadly, the treasure was gone and the girls were left in the wilds of Skye with a rapidly decaying body. They are rescued by a white-van man who takes them to the fictitious town of Invergeorge. He introduces them to his girlfriend, a female body-builder, and her sponsor, a seventysomething lady who owns half the town and made her pile as a hostess in a Glasgow nightclub owned by gangsters.When the yokels trick the cousins into smuggling drugs from Tangiers, the Police Superintendent suspects the scam, but he is only going through the motions since his wife left him for neglecting his family to become the brightest and youngest Super in the Scottish Police Force. Ashamed at the ease with which they swindled the city girls, the Invergeorge natives set out to help the cousins to a new way of life.Will Avril and Bridget don the mantle of respectability or will they escape to continue evading responsibility beyond middle age? You'll have to read the book to find out!