Ignore the Man in the Chair Typing

I lost my cell phone and had to get a new one. This was bad because, one: I hate cell phones. Two: I hate cell phones. And Three: I secretly had hoped that the Mayans were right and by today I would be holding onto a rope waiting for the atmosphere to come back, so why would I even have to have a cell phone? I wouldn't, except the Mayans were wrong. I'm still not over that...In my defense, I was born in 1957. In 1957 there were no cell phones. Hell my first memory of a phone was a...
More Description

I lost my cell phone and had to get a new one. This was bad because, one: I hate cell phones. Two: I hate cell phones. And Three: I secretly had hoped that the Mayans were right and by today I would be holding onto a rope waiting for the atmosphere to come back, so why would I even have to have a cell phone? I wouldn't, except the Mayans were wrong. I'm still not over that...In my defense, I was born in 1957. In 1957 there were no cell phones. Hell my first memory of a phone was a party line. That's where you got to listen into other peoples conversations as long as you could breath quietly and not giggle. You could not put your phone in your pocket and if you tried to you would most likely get some strange looks.But, all that did not bring my cell phone back so I went and got another. My son came to visit for the weekend so he was here to witness my triumph over Cell Phone technology. Well, he would have seen it had it happened. But, instead I spent three hours trying to set it up, transfer my number, and then it all failed. I would like to take a second to comment about Mothers. Geeeze. Sometimes they can be such smart alecs. Not that mine is. No."So, anyway," my Mother says, "did you read the owners Manual?""Mom," I said in my best talking to my mother voice, "Cell phones don't have owner manuals.""Dad," my son says, "It does.""Shhssh," I say too late."Well," Mom says very self righteously, "Maybe you should read it."This is a book of humor designed to make you laugh a little at life and all the funny things that are right there in front of you. I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.