Magnificent Bastards of the Apocalypse

A scientist, a semi-immortal clone, and a Grogon walk into the world's most popular Mongol-themed bar...Gibson, Super Patriot Boy, and Flapman are three pitiful nobodies--just three of the millions of miserable bastards condemned to walk the apocalyptic wasteland known as the Feculent Zone, the last refuge of life on Earth. They aren't happy and they aren't bright, but they're alive. And oh, what a life it is! A savage planet, hellish monsters, god-like AIs, and demonic babies are just...
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A scientist, a semi-immortal clone, and a Grogon walk into the world's most popular Mongol-themed bar...Gibson, Super Patriot Boy, and Flapman are three pitiful nobodies--just three of the millions of miserable bastards condemned to walk the apocalyptic wasteland known as the Feculent Zone, the last refuge of life on Earth. They aren't happy and they aren't bright, but they're alive. And oh, what a life it is! A savage planet, hellish monsters, god-like AIs, and demonic babies are just some of the everyday plagues they endure. That doesn't even include the actual plagues. As if that weren't bad enough, Gibson gets them tangled up with the FZ's evil rulers. Suddenly, all three are cast into a race for the Cudgel of Malthior, a mystical object that just might save the Earth from its endless ends-of-the-world. It'll take bravery, quick thinking, and careful management of Flapman's liquor supply. And when they are forced to team up with their greatest enemies, the fate of the entire universe will rest in the hands of this gnarly crew. It's a lot of pressure, which they resent. If they can recover the Cudgel and not murder each other along the way, they won't just be bastards anymore; they'll be the Magnificent Bastards of the Apocalypse.