My Circus, My Monkeys

17-year-old Atticus Childress plays guitar, is obsessed with women's fashion, doesn't know what to get his sister, Rosie, for her birthday and has never been kissed. What happens next? Minds will be blown!SUMMARYOnce people actually start to read 'My Circus, My Monkeys', Atticus Childress will very quickly become synonymous with "cynical adolescent". Atticus ('Johnny' to his friends, for reasons too hilarious to detail here) narrates the story of two weeks in his 17½-year-old life,...
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17-year-old Atticus Childress plays guitar, is obsessed with women's fashion, doesn't know what to get his sister, Rosie, for her birthday and has never been kissed. What happens next? Minds will be blown!SUMMARYOnce people actually start to read 'My Circus, My Monkeys', Atticus Childress will very quickly become synonymous with "cynical adolescent". Atticus ('Johnny' to his friends, for reasons too hilarious to detail here) narrates the story of two weeks in his 17½-year-old life, near the end of the summer term of his penultimate year at school, as his band is looking for a new lead guitarist, as he wonders what to buy his 16-year-old sister, Rosie, for her birthday, as he struggles to make sense of his obsession with women's fashion, in a slang that sounds vaguely contrived but occasionally amusing, using sentences that drag on for far too long. It begins:"Cello," grunts Bass. Crumbs of Toffee Crisp fly into the warm, late June afternoon air. Red and I scan the crowd of shoppers and schoolkids. Bass wipes his mouth. "Cello, definitely." "Where?" asks Red. I spot her. Short blonde hair. Crop top. Cut-off denims over bright purple tights. I've seen her around. I think she's in my sister's year. She'll be sixteen, a larva for sure. A few top notes, but nothing in the lower register. She's exactly Bass's type. "The honey in front of The Zone." I screw up my empty crisp packet and toss it into the waste receptacle on my right.Well, that's a bit confusing, isn't it? Bass, Cello, Red? WTF? Well, Bass and Red are Atticus's two best friends. BFF etc. That sort of thing. And they like to watch the girls go by. Does that make more sense now? Super.PRAISE FOR 'MY CIRCUS, MY MONKEYS':"The detail about clothing becomes long-winded and on the creepy side if I'm honest. What the hell is grindcore? Not sure you can use the word 'spasmodically' twice in a book. You use the word 'aquiver' a lot. The second half of the book is more enjoyable." (The author's eldest son)"I could tell it was you that wrote it, Dad." (The author's second eldest son)"I'm not reading it. That would be too weird. And I've not finished 'Game Of Thrones' yet." (The author's eldest daughter)"I read it when you first wrote it. Why would I want to read it again?" (The author's wife) [Your comment here. Read the book and leave a review.]ABOUT THE AUTHOR:Phil Trum (not his real name, bizarrely) was born in Outer Mongolia and spent many years working as an undercover refuse collector. He won a million pounds playing blackjack in Monte Carlo, then lost it all, backing the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest. He's been married for ages and has more kids than most people would consider wise. He's been farting around on the internet for far too long. He can remember things like newsgroups and dial-up internet connections. Yes, he is that old. Once upon a time he wanted to write full time but he soon realised he didn't have the required skill set.Most of that first paragraph is a lie. Apart from the bit about the kids, and the farting about on the internet. Oh, and the not having the required skill set. That's true. Sadly.For more information, visit the 'My Circus, My Monkeys' Facebook page www.facebook.com/MyCircusMyMonkeysNovel/ or find Phil posting funny animal memes at www.facebook.com/philtrumEU/. He doesn't do twitter because he can't cope with character limit.