My Journey into Happiness

Are you happy? That's the question that prompted me to start scribbling down my thoughts in this journal. I can remember so clearly the moment that I realized I wasn't particularly happy, that I was just going through the motions. It was during brunch with my husband, Harold, and my two daughters, Sylvia and Samantha. The morning had been quiet and easy going, Sundays were never particularly busy days for us and we had decided to treat ourselves to going to our favorite breakfast...
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Are you happy? That's the question that prompted me to start scribbling down my thoughts in this journal. I can remember so clearly the moment that I realized I wasn't particularly happy, that I was just going through the motions. It was during brunch with my husband, Harold, and my two daughters, Sylvia and Samantha. The morning had been quiet and easy going, Sundays were never particularly busy days for us and we had decided to treat ourselves to going to our favorite breakfast place, Delilah's for their all-inclusive brunch. So, there I was, sitting with my daughters listening to them chatter endlessly about the latest vampire movie to come out when out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of someone. Turning my head slightly to the right, I realized that it was one of the gorgeous tall, silver mirrors that adorned Delilah's and the person that I was seeing was none other than myself. This woman looked tired. She looked worn out beyond all reasoning and worst of all, she was raggedy.As I stared at my own reflection, I was forced to realize just how unhappy I looked. A drooping expression on my face, frayed and uneven nails, clothes that were mismatched. What happened to me, I had wondered. My heart sank as I realized there was an unfortunate truth about myself. I had given up. How long ago? My mind had darted back to before my 30th birthday, when my husband and I were barely married for two years. There was so much vim and vigor in our relationship, so much pleasure. Then... little by little my life grew busy. I became pregnant with our first daughter, then a few years later ended up pregnant again. I got that busy new job working as an industrial cleaner, putting in long mornings and sometimes even working nights. In other words, I had grown too busy to even notice how worn out I looked.They say that eyes are the mirror to the soul, but as I looked into my own eyes, examining the crow's feet, the weary expression and cracked lips of my face, I realized that somewhere along the line I lost my soul. I had left it behind and I had no idea where it went.In that moment was the moment that I realized that I wanted to find my soul again. I wanted to find real happiness. Memories had flashed through my mind, reminding me of the many times I snapped at my children while on the road. The times that I turned Harold's romantic advances away because I was exhausted. The stress eating, the mismatched clothes, the time I spent vegging out on the TV instead of working out, all of those moments came to me in a flash. I realized that at age 35, I had almost completely given up on the idea of a happy life. And so...so I decided to write this book. I don't want to be that kind of woman anymore. I don't want to be the type of person who's always screaming on the road or treating her family like they're a pain in the butt. I resolved in that moment, to find what it means to be happy. So... I'm inviting you, dear reader, to come along with me on my journey into happiness, to find out what works and what doesn't. I'm going to write stream of consciousness, each month that passes you'll find me doing all sorts of different things. I'm going to give it everything that I have to try and find out the path to happiness. So, come along with me on this grand experiment and see what happens!Love, Sarah Cornwell