The Thing about Betrayal

Hello. My name is Emmalyn Prescott, but everyone calls me Emma. I am a short, 17-year-old girl who is inordinately average looking with unruly dark hair and green eyes. I come with self-esteem issues included and more sarcasm than most people can tolerate. I sound like a real catch, right?I have always thought that love was just not in the cards for me, but I have recently found myself in a problematic situation here in my new home that I never would have considered possible. I am in...
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Hello. My name is Emmalyn Prescott, but everyone calls me Emma. I am a short, 17-year-old girl who is inordinately average looking with unruly dark hair and green eyes. I come with self-esteem issues included and more sarcasm than most people can tolerate. I sound like a real catch, right?I have always thought that love was just not in the cards for me, but I have recently found myself in a problematic situation here in my new home that I never would have considered possible. I am in love with two men, and those two men are in love with me...at least that is what they say. This may not sound like a problem, because who doesn't want to be loved? But it most certainly is a problem...an enormous, hideous, dangerous problem. And no matter what I do, I feel like I am a traitor...to myself, to them, to my own heart. The thing about betrayal, in my case anyway, is that, yes, while the betrayal act is infidelity and treachery against one of the men whom I love, it is simultaneously a showing of loyalty and love to the other. So by choosing one of them to be with and to give myself to, I betray the other, even with full disclosure. I had thought that telling the truth and being honest about my feelings would absolve me of my guilt, but nothing can really do that...unless the only person I betray is myself and my love for both of them. So how does one choose who to betray?