Untangling

Living in constant fear of being judged by others double checking making sure that I'm doing everything correctly so therefore I could not be crucially judged, I kept a journal over my life from my childhood into my adulthood unfortunately being a victim of childhood abuse lead me into a lifestyle of accepting any sort of treatment. Because I believe that I deserved less and that I wasn't worthy of absolutely any sort of love or affection. I've grown up with soulless adults and I...
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Living in constant fear of being judged by others double checking making sure that I'm doing everything correctly so therefore I could not be crucially judged, I kept a journal over my life from my childhood into my adulthood unfortunately being a victim of childhood abuse lead me into a lifestyle of accepting any sort of treatment. Because I believe that I deserved less and that I wasn't worthy of absolutely any sort of love or affection. I've grown up with soulless adults and I myself as an adult slowly began to isolate myself from everyoneconstantly being told to forget about it, but I couldn't my abusers ran into the church house showing anyone who believe them that they're this great saint. While they still choose to minimize my achievements but also find a way to belittle me if their giving a chance, I had to learn to choose me and stop waiting for this dramatic change in my abusers to love me the way that I've shown love to them no matter what they've done. During the pandemic, I gotten a chance to write my story my traumas & my abuse and how I've overcame and still overcoming one day at a time.